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PNP Chief Bato Dela Rosa admits errors on President's list

IT WASN’T just gossip whispered to his ear.

President Duterte’s list of more than 150 politicians, police and military officers and judges was collated in a workshop conducted by the intelligence community, Philippine National Police Director General Ronald “Bato” dela Rosa said on Monday. 
 
Dela Rosa told reporters some of those named by Mr. Duterte in a televised speech shortly after midnight Sunday had started to submit themselves to PNP investigation. 
 
He acknowledged errors in the list prepared following a meeting of representatives of the PNP, the Armed Forces of the Philippines and the Philippine Drug Enforcement Agency: One judge was found to be long dead. 
 
One classified as a “congressman” was never a legislator. Of the four military personnel, retired Brig. Gen. Leoncio Daniega had already been dead since 2010, while the rest had already been long discharged from the service. 
 
But Dela Rosa stressed: “It wasn’t just gossip whispered to the President … or [a list of] those who didn’t support [him] in the elections. The President is not that shallow.” 
 
“Why are we so concerned about the mistakes? We should be concerned on the good effects of this massive campaign. If we allow ourselves to be controlled by the fear of making mistakes, by a small percentage, this campaign will go nowhere,” he said. 
 
“To tell you frankly, we won’t be able to pin them down, because drug lords are very hard to pin down unless you have a comprehensive case buildup. But even if we don’t pin them down, and they keep on denying, at least the people know who they are, and they have promised to change,” Dela Rosa said. 
 
Those who trooped to Camp Crame on Monday said they weren’t surrendering but simply wanted to clear their names. 
 
Of the 58 who came, 31 were police officers and 27 were local government officials. 
An emotional Mayor Martin de Guzman III of Bauang, La Union province, told Dela Rosa in the middle of a media scrum at Camp Crame’s multipurpose center: “The years we sent taking care of our name swiftly went away. The future of our children vanished. It is so sad. 
 
Who’s going to believe us now?” 
 
These sentiments were echoed by Datu Saudi, Maguindanao, Mayor Samsudin Diaukom; Salibo, Maguindanao Mayor Noridin Salasal; and even Dela Rosa’s “shooting buddy” Ohto Montawal, vice mayor of Montawal, Maguindanao province. 
 
“Sir, you know me. We were best friends,” Montawal told Dela Rosa, who replied being friends didn’t matter in light of Duterte’s revelations, which “may be true or not true.” 
 
“It’s the obligation of the President to let people know the campaign against narcotics is this sincere,” Dela Rosa explained. 
 
One person who showed up wasn’t on the list. But by turning up, Franz Sabalones explained why his brother, Fralz, vice mayor of San Fernando, Cebu, may have been included in it. 
 
When presented to the media, Sabalones said: “I just want to change.” 
 
Dela Rosa, arm around him, cheerfully quipped: “Because if he doesn’t, he’ll really get killed.” 
 
He described Sabalones as the No. 2 drug lord in Central Visayas, after Jeffrey “Jaguar” Diaz, who was killed earlier this year in an antinarcotics operation in Las Piñas City. 
Vice Mayor Sabalones himself showed up. “I didn’t even know what he [Franz] does,” he said. 
 
Dela Rosa met separately with his men who had been implicated, yelled at them and told them he would kill them. 
 
The local government officials were referred to the Criminal Investigation and Detection Group for custodial investigation, while the officers will be investigated by the Internal Affairs Service.

Controversial Local News PNP Chief Bato Dela Rosa admits errors on President's list

IT WASN’T just gossip whispered to his ear. President Duterte’s list of more than 150 politicians, police and military officers and judge...

Five Parenting Rules That Don’t Work: How to Separate Fact from Fiction

10:27:00 AM

Even before you become a parent, you start forming ideas about how you’ll raise your child. You get advice about it from all sides—your own parents and family, your friends, and books by so-called experts tell you "the rules" of good parenting. But most people soon find out that some of these techniques are simply fads—and many of them don’t work at all. Read on to see what James Lehman thinks are the top five most ineffective parenting concepts out there. 
 
1. “If you build up your child’s self-esteem, he’ll behave better.”   
The theory today seems to be that if you can make your child feel good about himself, then somehow his behavior is going to change. I can’t tell you how many families I’ve worked with who’ve learned that this is a complete fallacy. Make no mistake, kids don’t feel their way to better behavior. But they can behave their way to better feelings. 
 
Self-esteem and self-respect come from doing things that you can esteem and that you can respect. Self-esteem also comes from doing things that are hard for you. Look at it this way: if your child’s school is trying to build your child up by giving him high marks on work that’s mediocre or that’s too easy for him, do you really think your child is fooled? Soon he starts to think he can coast through school—and life. What’s worse, on the inside, he’s thinking, “No one expects much of me. That must mean I really am stupid.” So the intervention for the self-esteem issue—the rewards he’s given to feel better about himself—often have the exact opposite effect. 
 
I think rewards have to be based on realistic actions that are performed by your child. If you use a star chart with your younger child, for example, there should be categories on it that are realistic for him—and by that I mean behaviors that are observable and performable. So “Respond to First Requests” is a lot better than “Have a Good Attitude.” Being specific with kids gives them a real chance to perform well. 
 
It’s also very important for parents to understand that in order to get kids to develop their self-esteem, what they have to learn how to do is solve problems and function. 
 
Consider this scenario: Let’s say one teen studies math and gets an A on his test. Another child doesn’t study and gets an F on the test and then goes to see his counselor that afternoon. When those two kids come home that night, they are not going to be the same. The teenager who’s going to have the self-esteem is the one who studied—who solved the problem of motivating himself to learn the math problems, even though he would have preferred to watch T.V. He’s going to feel like he made an effort and it paid off. But the child who failed the test because he didn’t study won’t feel better in the long run, even though he went to a counselor and talked about his feelings. He may feel better for a time after his session, but if he doesn’t change his behavior and do his homework, he’s going to feel just as bad the next time he fails a test. Talking to a counselor about your feelings may help your mood improve in the short term, but it won’t make you do any better. For that, you have to do the work. 
 
If you want kids to have self-esteem, teach them how to solve problems, teach them how to perform. You can start with little tasks and then help them build their way up to bigger ones. Make no mistake about it; self-esteem comes from doing estimable acts; self-respect comes from doing respectable acts. If somebody isn’t performing those acts, they’re never going to have self-esteem. 
 
2. “When your child gets upset, angry or hostile and acts out, talk about his feelings with him.”  
When a child gets angry and acts out, many parents’ first reaction is to ask their child why he’s upset. They reason that if their child understands his feelings, he’ll be able to control his behavior better. 
 
In my opinion, this is a misleading belief. Yes, we need to talk with kids about their feelings sometimes, and we need to discuss what makes them angry or upset. But often children—and I’m including younger kids, pre-adolescents and teenagers here—are not good at reflecting about their feelings. So whenever an adult sits down and says, “Well, how did that feel? Why did you do that?” you can see a child shutting down. I think one of the main reasons is because the child really doesn’t know how he feels. He’s upset, he’s angry, he doesn’t like something, or he thinks something isn’t fair. He has thoughts which justify his behavior and feelings. So he says, “I’m angry because it’s not fair. You let Tyler do it and you wouldn’t let me.” He becomes adept at blaming others for his behavior. 
 
By the way, if you have a child who can process emotions and talk about them, that’s great. But in my experience, most kids can’t—and especially children who have problems with functioning and behavior. Those kids really need to be taught about their feelings, not asked about them. I think it’s much better to teach kids how they act when they feel a certain way. So instead of saying “Why are you angry, Connor?” you can say, “Let’s look at what you do when you get angry, Connor.” The truth is, understanding why you’re angry doesn’t really help if, as a result of your anger, you are disrespectful, abusive or destructive. 
 
Remember, the goal is not for our children to understand why they feel a certain way; the goal is for them to understand how they can behave no matter what they feel—even when they think something’s not fair. 
 
3. “Kids with performance or behavior problems need different rules—and should be held to different standards.”  
It’s very tempting for many parents to go a little easy on the rules—or to try and get the school to bend the rules so their kids with behavioral problems or learning disabilities have fewer problems. Parents see that as a way out. So if Sam is allowed to curse every now and then in class and is not given a detention if he slips up, that’s okay because “Sam has a hard time with that.” And if he’s verbally abusive around the house, there’s more flexibility for him than there will be for his siblings. 
 
The problem is that when your child gets older and his special education or therapeutic support ends (in many states that occurs when kids reach the age of 18), he will be in the same starting gate with all the other kids his age. And when that gate opens, he’ll be out there in the race. Make no mistake, if he can’t perform, he’s simply going to fall behind. 
 
Don’t get me wrong, I well understand that not everybody is given the same academic proficiency in life. I have a son with learning disabilities and math proved to be a very hard subject for him. But here’s the truth: regardless of academic ability, everybody has to have the same proficiency in following cultural norms and meeting behavioral and performance expectations. So after high school graduation, one kid might go work at Home Depot and one might go to college, but they both have to be able to respond appropriately to authority, speak respectfully to other people, and manage their emotions effectively. They both have to solve the problems that people deal with every day when they interact with others and do it in a way that doesn’t make them strike out or become self-destructive. That’s all there is to it. 
 
The problem is that kids with special needs may have different academic expectations, but their social expectations have to remain the same. And if they don’t learn how to behave appropriately now, it will be almost impossible for them later, when they’ve reached adulthood. 
 
I know it’s a very hard thing to do, but kids—even those with learning or behavioral problems—need to follow certain standards of behavior. As a parent, you have to learn how to hold your child accountable, even when he’s having a hard time. If you can do this, later on when he’s an adult, he’ll be able to take responsibility for himself instead of blaming everyone else for his problems and looking for an easy way out. 
 
4. “Severe adolescent phases are a part of life. They’ll pass.”  
Adolescents sometimes experiment with dangerous things. And for some teens, this phase does pass. In my experience, for many, many other adolescents, it does not. Go to any college and look at the amount of substance abuse going on and you’ll see what I mean. 
 
One mistake parents make is to rationalize this behavior. So they say, both to themselves and to their child, “Oh, it’s not a big deal—every teenager drinks or experiments with pot at some point.” Realize that if you tell your child, “Every kid does it, and so did I,” you’ve just given him permission to do it, too. 
 
The bottom line is that these aren’t just adolescent phases for many kids. These are things they try—but then they get stuck there. Sometimes it’s aggressive behavior—some teens and pre-teens get into feeling powerful and throwing their weight around. But make no bones about it: violent, verbally abusive, destructive adolescents become violent, verbally abusive, destructive adults unless some strong intervention takes place. Violence is not a phase. 
 
I believe this behavior is often a response to the tremendous amount of stress or frustration that adolescents experience. You have to understand that these kinds of feelings will just intensify as your teen transitions into adulthood. If your 13-year-old son can’t get along with his kid sister without pushing or hitting her now, or if he can’t get along with you without screaming and yelling and breaking things, what do you think is going to happen under the intense pressures of a marriage or a job? 
 
Substance abuse is another example of adolescent behavior that doesn’t go away on its own. People often say that kids “experiment” with drugs. I love the word experiment: I picture a kid with a white coat and a rat in the basement smoking pot. Unless he’s a doctor or a lab tech, he’s not experimenting—he’s using drugs. Alcohol consumption is also very risky for kids. Adults may think of alcohol as a social lubricant, but for kids who are under a tremendous amount of stress or anxiety, drinking or getting high gives them relief—and that’s a very dangerous thing. It becomes seductive, and it’s extremely hard for these kids not to go back for more. 
 
Parents need to be clear that smoking pot, drinking and doing drugs are high-risk activities. Not only are they dangerous because they affect your child’s judgment, they also affect his ability to solve problems. 
 
It’s very important to ask yourself, “What do I want my child to learn?” If you want him to learn that everybody smokes pot and drinks, then tell him that it’s normal. But I think parents should be saying to their kids, “Drug and alcohol use is out. It’s bad for you.” Make it clear from the beginning. In adolescence, there are certain developmental tasks that kids have to learn, like how to deal with anxiety and frustration. If they use drugs and alcohol to avoid learning these tasks, they will pay a price in adulthood. And that price will be that they will not be equipped to deal with these difficult emotions as adults. 
 
5. “To make a punishment work, you have to make it really ‘hurt.’”  
I think parents can get stuck in a cycle of trying to “up the ante” when it comes to punishing their kids—in other words, each time their child misbehaves, they feel they need to find a bigger and bigger hammer to deal with it. These parents invariably end up getting frustrated because ultimately, this doesn’t work. Soon they start to feel like there’s nothing they can do to get through to their child. 
 
My experience is that nobody ever changed from being punished. In our society, we punish all the time, but we have a very high re-offense rate, whether it’s speeding on the highway, drug use, or shoplifting. And we have a very high recidivism rate in our prisons. I’m not saying that people shouldn’t be punished for these crimes—my point is simply that punishment without learning does not result in better behavior. 
 
Let me put it another way: punishment that does not include learning how to solve the problem appropriately next time—and then being held accountable for your behavior—is not effective. Let’s say your child was nasty with his sister. You tell him he’s grounded for a month—but now he’s just going to do time; he’ll do his month and then go free. What does he learn when this happens? You hope he’ll learn, “If I do that again, I’m going to be grounded for a month.” But the truth is that when he’s upset, he won’t remember that punishment at all. In fact, most kids (and many adults) cannot recall past punishments with enough power to affect current behavior. 
 
Personally, I think consequences should be task-oriented. When your child is given consequences, it should be a learning experience, not a punitive one. I also believe there should be something unpleasant attached to it. For instance, you might decide that your child cannot use the computer until he treats his sister with respect. You can say, “You cannot use your phone until you don’t curse at your sister for 24 hours.” And so the consequences should be task-oriented, not time-oriented—and the time should be connected to the task. You can also build up to longer periods of time. So the first time, he should not curse for 24 hours, then the next time, you can extend it to 48 hours. In other words, you’re getting your child’s self-control to do pushups and get stronger. Although you might even start with one hour, the goal is for him to make it all day without swearing. 
 
Remember, teach your child what his responsibilities are, teach him how to meet them and then hold him accountable if he doesn’t. In the end, whether or not your child has behavioral issues or performance problems, your goal is to teach him how to function successfully in life.

Fail Parenting Lifestyle Responsible Five Parenting Rules That Don’t Work: How to Separate Fact from Fiction

Even before you become a parent, you start forming ideas about how you’ll raise your child. You get advice about it from all sides—your own ...

Parenting Responsibilities: 10 Things You Are (and Aren’t) Responsible for as a Parent

10:23:00 AM

These days, we’re bombarded with mixed messages about how to parent “the right way.” It’s easy to buy into advice from the media, relatives, and other parents and start to worry that we’re doing something wrong. Part of the reason this is happening is because adults, just like kids, are over-stimulated. We’re more wired and connected, which means we’re receiving more outside input than ever before. We have easy access to advice (good and bad) on the web, to information about how other parents are doing things, and to each other through social networking sites. This means we’re also more actively comparing ourselves to others—and getting more judgment and criticism from others as a result. We’re on an informational and emotional overload, which is causing many, many parents to feel overwhelmed and confused. 
 
On our 1-on-1 Coaching, my advice to callers was to trust your instincts as a parent—you know your child best, and in the end you’re the one making the decisions about your child’s future. In the Total Transformation Program, James Lehman says you have to run your family like a business. You’re the chief executive officer of your “family business” and as CEO you have to learn how to set emotions aside and to parent as objectively as possible. Forget how guilty you feel, forget that echo of your sister’s advice in the back of your head—you need to do what is best for your business. You can ask for advice, but in the end, you know your family best.  
 
One of the most important ways to clear through all the clutter of advice, guilt and comparisons to others is to understand what you are and aren’t responsible for when it comes to raising your child. 
 
What you are not responsible for: 
 
1. Making sure your kids are always happy. Don’t get me wrong—it’s good for your kids to be happy overall. But that means there will be plenty of times, especially when you’re parenting responsibly, that your kids will be furious with you when you set limits or give them a consequence. That’s part of your job description as the executive officer—not to make decisions based on what your kids will like, tolerate, or be okay with, but to make the decisions that are best for them and your family business, then follow through. 
 2. Getting the approval of others. Rationally, you do not need other adults in your life to tell you that you are doing the right thing. Parenting is not a popularity contest in your family or in your community. Sure, it feels great when other adults, such as your child’s teachers, tell you your child is doing something well, but it’s not necessary in order for you to run your family business well. 
 3. Controlling your children. Your children are not puppets and you are not a puppeteer. There is just no logical way that you can control every move your child makes or everything your child says, especially outside of your home. Children have their own free will and will act on their own accord—and often in self-interest. It’s important to remind yourself that if your child is not doing her homework, for example, despite your best efforts to motivate her and hold her accountable, that’s her problem and the poor grade she earns is hers alone. The consequence she will get from you is that you will make sure she sets aside time every evening to study, you will be in touch with her teachers more, and you will monitor her homework more thoroughly until she brings her grade up. We can’t control our kids, but we can influence them by the limits we set and the consequences we give. As James Lehman says, “You can lead a horse to water, and you can’t make them drink—but you can make them thirsty.” 
 4. Doing for your children what they are capable of doing for themselves. Many, many times our children will ask us to do something for them that we know they are capable of doing on their own. Your grade schooler might not make his bed perfectly the first time, but practice (and doing it imperfectly several times) is what he needs in order to get to the point where he can do it on his own. I’m not saying to stop preparing breakfast for your child once she’s old enough to pour her own cereal, or to never do anything to help your kids out in a pinch. What I am saying is to let your kids struggle sometimes and try your best to balance the responsibility. Typing a child’s paper for him because you type faster and it’s getting close to bedtime is not striking a balance. 
 5. You do not have to be Superman, Wonder Woman, Mike Brady, or June Cleaver. These are all fictional characters that seem to do it all and do it perfectly, right? You’re not one of them, nor should you strive to be. Rather than focusing on addressing every behavior issue or adhering to a perfect schedule each day, try to hit the important targets and realize that you might have to let some smaller things go each day. We call this picking your battles. 
 
What you are responsible for: 
 
1. Making tough decisions that are not popular ones. If your child doesn’t get mad at you at least once in a while, you’re not doing your job. Along with this, remember that you are not required to give lengthy explanations of your decisions. “It’s not safe” can be plenty of explanation when your teen asks why he can’t jump off the roof and onto the trampoline. “It’s your responsibility” is enough justification for telling your child it’s homework time. You don’t need to get into all the possible “what-ifs” and “if-thens.” 
2. Teaching your child to function independently. One of the effective parenting roles we talk about frequently on EP is the Trainer/Coach role. It is your job to teach your child age-appropriate skills in order to allow them to become more and more independent. There comes a time when your child needs to learn how to emotionally soothe himself, tie his shoes, write his name, and cope when someone teases him. Over time the skills he needs get more and more advanced—typing a paper, saying no to drugs, driving a car, and filling out a job application, for example. 
3. Holding them accountable. At the very least, this means setting some limits with your children when they are behaving inappropriately. For example, when your child is putting off their homework you might turn off the TV and say, “Watching TV isn’t getting your homework done. Once your homework is done you can turn the TV back on.” This could also be as simple as firmly saying, “We don’t talk that way in this house” to your child and walking away. Or, of course, it can also mean providing some effective consequences for something like having missing homework assignments, such as weekend activities being placed on hold until the work is completed. 
4. Going along for the ride. On the rollercoaster, that is. We all know but often struggle to accept that life is full of ups and downs—and sometimes it gets turned upside down. There will be times when your child is doing well and times when he or she is really struggling. That is not a reflection on you, it just is. Don’t blame yourself when this happens. Focus on finding positive ways to cope, look for something new to try to help your child effectively, or get some local support. 
5. Do your best. That’s really all you can do sometimes. It’s a perpetual balancing act—striving to find that balance between doing too much and doing too little, or giving consequences that are not too harsh but not too soft, either. Parenting can feel like a circus sometimes and there can be several balancing acts going on at one time. That’s when you have to go back to picking your battles and realizing you are not, nor will you ever be, June Cleaver or Superman. 
 
Above all else, remember that your child is unique and you know him better than anyone else on the planet. You will always get input, no matter how obvious or subtle, from the world around you as to how you should parent your child. You, however, are the expert on your child and get to make your own decisions about how to parent her in a way that teaches her to be independent and accountable while also being loving and respectful of your child and her needs. When you find yourself personalizing, remember the tips here to help you be more objective and remember what your role as a parent really is.

Lifestyle Parenting Responsible Parenting Responsibilities: 10 Things You Are (and Aren’t) Responsible for as a Parent

These days, we’re bombarded with mixed messages about how to parent “the right way.” It’s easy to buy into advice from the media, relatives,...

Canigao Island: Hibernating Paradise of Leyte

9:55:00 AM

Canigao Island is one of the hidden Gem of Leyte. It is unknown to many especially to the people of Manila or of Luzon Island. I didn't had an idea what's in there until I saw it with my eyes. Canigao is an islet with white sand beach. It is a popular weekend getaway for families and friends residing in Leyte. 10 minutes away from the mainland - that will surely hit the locals.Canigao Island was the first destination of our Southern Leyte Exploration. As I have said I didn't know the Island, so it was Claire and Ephraim - our host, who were in charge of getting there. Actually, its just Ephraim. Hehehe... 
 We took a van in Ormoc City Terminal and asked the driver to drop us in Matalom, Leyte where in the Island jump off point is located. Travel time is around three hours, so prepare your throw pillows to have a comfortable sleep. But be sure the driver knows that he has to drop you in Matalom. Specifically, Canigao Island is located in Brgy. Itum, Matalom, Leyte. 
 When we get there we took a pedicab to proceed to the terminal. We paid a certain amount in which I forgot how much for the boat ride back and forth. Though I remember it was very minimal. Less than Php50 per head. I believe there is an entrance/environmental fee for the Island. The thing was nobody approached for the fee and we do not know who and where to pay.   
 When we reached Canigao Island, we did some strolling and picture taking. Canigao Island is an islet thus you can tour the island by foot. There are parts that are not passable. There are also parts of the island where rocks dominates the shore thus good enough only for picture taking. After all the rock formation on one side is picturesque as the white sand. 
 If you want to do beach camping you would have to pay Php50.00 for space fee. Basically you can set up tents anywhere in the Island. If you do not have tents, there are available for rent for the minimum of Php300.00. I saw some rooms there but I failed to ask how much it cost per night. Of course if you are a family or in a large group you would want to rent a cottage for Php300 I think. Don't get frustrated when you fail to bring food or water there are available stores in Canigao Island. 
 I did expect something extraordinary from this Island. Maybe I was just stereotyping. Every place has its own beauty and allure. God made us unique thus also for the places and location in Earth. They say that beauty is subjective. Yes, indeed. Canigao Island is beautiful. I realize that when I dipped into its waters. Its not a perfect beach but it still can offer you a good communion with the water.  
 This island deserves a visit when you are in Leyte. The drama is spectacular. Its pristine waters level it self to the top island destination in the Philippines. 
 
 
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How to get to Canigao Island</div>
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<li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">Canigao Island is Located in Matalom, Leyte (South of Ormoc City)</li>
<li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">Take a Van bound to Maasin, Leyte.</li>
<li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">Tell the Driver to drop you in Brgy. Maitum, Matalom Leyte (Travel time 3 hours)</li>
<li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">Take a pedicab going towards the jump off point.</li>
<li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">Take a boat bound to the Island.</li>
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   Leyte Series 
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<li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">Tacloban Walking Tour</li>
<li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">Where to Go (Hotels) in Tacloban?</li>
<li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">Calle Z to Paruparong Bukid: The Path that Changed Me</li>
<li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">Maasin City Tour</li>
<li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">Sogod's Agas Agas Bridge</li>
<li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">Oh That Lake! An Ode to Lake Danao </li>
<li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">Ormoc Walking Tour</li>
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Canigao Island Leyte Local Stories Canigao Island: Hibernating Paradise of Leyte

Canigao Island is one of the hidden Gem of Leyte. It is unknown to many especially to the people of Manila or of Luzon Island. I didn't ...

Philippine's secret loan to world bank

8:30:00 AM

1.The External Debt is the amount of debt a country owes to foreign or international creditors. 
The debtors can be the government, corporations or citizens of that country. The estimated Philippines foreign debt under the Aquino administration in early 2016 was $77,658,912,000 (US$77.659 billion). 
 
External Debt: $77,658,912,000 in early 2016 
 
The Public Debt is the total amount of debt a central government or country owes. It is also known as National Debt. 
 
The debtors can be the government, corporations or citizens of that country. The estimated Philippines public debt under the Aquino administration in 2016 was $163,934,972,678. 
Public Debt: $163,934,972,678 in early 2016 
 
2. Finances.worldbank.org  
Sunod po ay ang record ng Worldbank. Hindi pa ho kasali dyan mga kababayan ang $500 Million na Loan ng Pilipinas sa kanyang Disasters and Rehabilitation sa YOLANDA, ?? 
 
Sa ating pagkaka alam Nasa P73.31 billion po at in Dollar Currency po yan. ang Kabuuang Donations na natanggap nang Pilipinas. Yun po yung Record ha? but i doubt it. Marami pa ang hindi na na trace dyan. Imposibleng Yan lang. to think na hindi natin binili ang kahoy semento at bakal ng dolyar kundi piso sa currency na natin itinayo ang Rehabilitation Program ng YOLANDA 
 
Eto pa ho yung nadiskubre natin mga kababayan. Diba may Rehabilitation Loan pa tayo na $500 Million? 
 
Hindi po natin kailangan ng isang henyo para kwentahin kung magkano ang Pera ng Pilipinas  sa kabuuan. Paano nang yari na tayo pa ay nag kautang ng sobrang laki maliban sa sinasabi nilang 6.4 Trillion?? yun nga lamang po ba? o may iba pa?  at hindi lang po tayo dito dapat maging curious mga kababayan. Dun pa lamang sa Data na nilabas ng Worldbank nakaka lula na ang $500Million Usd Rehabilitation budget.  eh.. nasaan na po kaya yun????? 
 
''At eto pa matinding tanong mga kababayan, Nasaan na ang collections natin sa TAX??? bilyon bilyon din yun, idagdag mo na ang kinikita ng gobyerno sa mga private business nito, tulad na lang ng PCSO? dito pa lang araw araw milyones na ang nakukubra ng pamahalaan natin. ETO PA HO MGA KABABAYAN. KUMUSTA DIN ANG MALAMPAYA PROJECT ? DI BA MAY UNTRACE NANAMAN DUN NA 90Billion? '' 
 
Kaya naman. Ginagawa na nila lahat upang huwag makalkal ito ng susunod na adminsitrasyon. Hndi nakakapagtaka na nag sanib sanib na silang lahat upang mapigilan ito. 
 
But time is running and ticking to it's end-time countdown as we nearly draw our final verdicts to this coming election.  
 
Some speculations are still remain unclear, but this info you are reading is real. 
 
Anuman ang maging resulta nito. paniguradong malalaman ito ng buong bayan. dahil kakalkalin lahat ito ni mayor. at matutuklasan ang maraming kababalaghan. pag binuklat na ang mga liquidations at expenses ng nakaraang administrasyon, ito po ang isang dahilan kaya ayaw nilang manalo si MAyor Duterte. Ayaw nilang mabulgar kung ilan na nga ba ang kabuuang Utang ng Pilipinas? Magkano? at saan saan napunta ang Bilyon Bilyong Mga Pondo na ito? 
 
I share niyo po ito. lalo na. para makita ng mga kalaban. na palapit na ang kanilang katapusan.mas maigi ng ngayon pa lang alam na nila kung ano ang kanilang kakahantungan. para hindi na sila maka pag tago pa at makapag hugas kamay sa mata ng bayan. 
 
Source: Worldinfograpix

Controversial Local News PH Secret Loan World Bank Philippine's secret loan to world bank

1.The External Debt is the amount of debt a country owes to foreign or international creditors. The debtors can be the government, corporat...

The Case of Pepsi Paloma

1:48:00 AM

We were eating lunch at a Daly City home and watching “Eat Bulaga!”, the popular noontime variety show on GMA TV, when someone commented that he read on Facebook that two of the show’s hosts, Vic Sotto and Joey de Leon, were involved in the gang rape of a young Filipino American actress named Pepsi Paloma in 1982. 
 
Three young Filipino kids, all recent immigrants, joined in the conversation and said that they also heard of the Pepsi Paloma rape case. I expressed surprise because it occurred long before any of them were born. They explained that they learned of the rape from the song “Spolarium” composed and performed by the Eraserheads, their favorite Filipino rock band. 
 
When I Googled the lyrics of “Spolarium” by the Eraserheads, I found these words: 
 
"At ngayon di pa rin alam, kung ba’t tayo nandito. 
Pwede bang itigil muna ang pagikot ng mundo? 
Umiyak ang umaga. 
Anong sinulat ni Enteng at Joey dyan sa gintong salamin? 
Di ko na mabasa pagkat merong nagbura." 
 
(And we still don’t know why we’re here, please stop the turning of the world, the morning cried, what did enteng and joey write in the golden mirror I couldn’t read because someone erased it). 
 
According to these diehard fans of the Eraserheads, “enteng” is  Vic Sotto and “joey” is Joey de Leon and the something that was erased was their criminal record. The meaning of the lyrics of this song, the kids shared, has been a popular subject of discussion in Manila universities as well as in the social media. 
 
When I Googled “Pepsi Paloma”, I saw the link to the video that had been downloaded on Facebook by as many as 66,000 viewers The “Eat Bulaga – Pepsi Paloma story” reported the tragic tale of Delia Smith, the eldest daughter of Lydia Duenas, a native of Borac, Northern Samar, and Kenneth Smith, an American letter carrier who deserted his family when his four children were still young. 
 
When Delia was barely 13, her mother introduced her to talent manager Rey dela Cruz who changed her name to “Pepsi Paloma” to join his stable of other “soft drink” beauties which included Sarsi Emmanuel and Cola Nicolas. Dela Cruz secured Pepsi’s starring role in her first movie, a “bold” feature called Brown Emmanuelle in 1981. 
 
Less than a year later, according to her account, while promoting one of her movies, Pepsi met the three comedian hosts of Eat Bulaga – Vic Sotto, Joey de Leon and Richie D’Horsey (Richie Reyes). The three men took her out to a bar, drugged her, and then gang raped her in a hotel room. (Because she was only 14 at the time, these comedians were pedophile rapists.) 
 
To prosecute a crime in the Philippines, you cannot just rely on government prosecutors, you have to hire a private prosecutor otherwise the case will be dismissed for lack of prosecution. For this job, Pepsi sought the help of then Defense Secretary Juan Ponce Enrile who referred her to the senior partner in the ACCRA law office, Atty.  Rene Cayetano, the father of Sen. Pia Cayetano and Sen. Alan Peter Cayetano, who offered his pro bono services to Pepsi. 
 
If convicted of the rape charge, the three comedians faced the death penalty, a sentence that was meted out previously in 1967 to the four rapists of movie star Maggie dela Riva. Three of the men were executed in 1972 on live TV while the fourth escaped the electric chair by dying in prison. 
 
To prevent the same fate from befalling his younger brother, Sen. Tito Sotto quickly went to see Pepsi Paloma while she was still securing the services of Atty. Cayetano. According to her account of this visit, Sen. Sotto “coerced” her into signing an “Affidavit of Desistance” to drop the rape complaint against his brother and his cohorts. 
 
[But how could that affidavit be legal when she was only 14 when she signed it and she did so without the presence of her attorney?  But this happened in 1982 during martial law and the Sottos were said to be favored by the Marcos dictatorship.] 
 
How was she coerced? In her November 3, 2012 column in the Philippine Daily Inquirer, Rina Jimenez David described this incident as follows: “Paloma eventually dropped the charges after she was allegedly visited by one of the trio who said he had only talked with her, but only after placing a pistol on the table in front of her.” 
 
As a result of Pepsi’s signed affidavit of desistance, no criminal charges were filed against the three comedian rapists even after they went down on their knees on their show “Eat Bulaga!” and asked forgiveness from Pepsi Paloma for raping her when she was only 14. 
 
Three years after her rape, on May 31, 1985, Pepsi was found dead in her apartment with a rope looped around her neck. The police concluded that it was a suicide caused by “monetary problems” and this was the official story that appeared in the headlines of the newspapers. 
 
But her manager, Babette Corcuerra, disputed the press account. “She was earning well and was fully booked for dancing performances. She just finished the Pepsi Paloma Show at the Bughaw and 10 other beerhouses,” Corcuerra said, and she had three film offers lined up, she added. 
 
It just did not add up, Corcuerra said. “She was looking forward to celebrating her 18th birthday next year. She made me promise to throw a big party for her at a hotel because it would be her debut,” Corcuerra told the Times Journal. 
Was she murdered? Before he passed away, in an interview on ABS-CBN that was not aired, self-confessed hitman Kit Mateo intimated as much. 
 
“Eat Bulaga!” is now entering its 35th year as the longest-running noontime variety on air program in the history of television, making millionaires of its comedic stars. 
 
Sen. Tito Sotto is still in the Philippine Senate serving as the proud champion of the Holy Roman Catholic Church in his staunch opposition to the Reproductive Health Act and to all forms of contraception. 
 
Pepsi Paloma would have celebrated her 47th birthday this year.

Celebrity Mystery Pepsi Paloma Stories The Case of Pepsi Paloma

We were eating lunch at a Daly City home and watching “Eat Bulaga!”, the popular noontime variety show on GMA TV, when someone commented tha...

Five (5) Ways To Achieve Deeper Relationship To Your Man

1:31:00 AM

In almost all kinds of relationships, we seek for ways that we can do to renew the spark or rekindle the love that you share with your partner. In this regard, here are some ways which you can do to keep the fire burning. 
 
Show him your appreciation 
Saying thank you for his efforts no matter how simple or small they are would mean a great deal for your man. This would show him how much of a help he was for you. Yup you are a damsel in distress and he is the prince that saved your day! 
 
Do Simple Things for Him 
It wouldn’t hurt to give our man a little bit of a surprise right? Cook a simple dish for two and eat at home or have a picnic. It’s simple, not so expensive and romantic at the same time. Well what can you say, the best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach after all. Or you can also do other stuffs like giving him gifts or tokens, but be careful and do not over do this as it might creep the hell out of him. 
 
Give Him Time 
Although being together and hanging out with your love would always be the best, it is important to consider that your guy also has to have a life. By this, I mean that he should also make time for his friends, family and other hobbies that he enjoys doing. Also, you too can do the things that you want with your own set of friends. Balance is the key, so that you can both have the time to miss each other. 
 
Men are Literal Beings 
Do understand that men and women have different brain programming when it comes to understanding and doing things. *Take note that this is not a battle of the sexes.* However, understand what your man is saying in the most literal and simple way because it is more often than not that men mean what they say and not all of them go around the bush just to make his point. So girls, avoid over thinking it can literally kill your relationship with him. 
 
Learn to do what he loves to do 
For me, there is no other fun bonding with my man than to do the things he love. Why? Because it can be absolutely fun and you get to learn a new skill and have a deeper more special bond with him. I am saying this based from experience. Who ever thought that I would learn to develop the love for fast cars and driving fast? 
 
Overall, there are many more ways to make your man fall truly, madly and deeply in love with you, however, it is really up to you on how you will handle and understand each situation. So good luck with your man and I’m wishing you both all the best in your relationship.

Achieve Deeper Relationship Love Relationship Five (5) Ways To Achieve Deeper Relationship To Your Man

In almost all kinds of relationships, we seek for ways that we can do to renew the spark or rekindle the love that you share with your partn...

Important Things To Do Before Applying For Adsense

1:21:00 AM

I know you want to make some good money with Google AdSense right? 
 
But it’s not easy to get into AdSense program now-a-days. You have to follow few things before applying for AdSense. 
 
You must be thinking on: 
 
<ul>
<li>How to apply for AdSense</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>How to qualify for AdSense</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Am I eligible to apply for AdSense</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>What are Google AdSense Requirements</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Why Google AdSense rejected my applicaton</li>
</ul>
 
 
This post is going to answer all your questions. It’s going be a bit long so grab a cup of coffee.. 
 
What is Google AdSense and Why Choose To Use? 
 
Google AdSense is one of the oldest network to offer ad publishing and works at Pay Per Click system. In fact Google used to give AdSense to everyone who used to make blogs through Google Blogspot. 
 
When it comes to the legitimacy of Google AdSense, it speaks for itself. Google AdSense have thousands and thousands of satisfied customers and publishers. AdSense pays on time, every time. 
 
One more reason for choosing Google AdSense is that we can earn huge amounts of money if we do our work in right way. There are many bloggers who are making a complete living from their blogs and Google AdSense. Therefore, Google AdSense should be the number one choice among all the other available networks. 
 
It’s paying rates are better than all of other networks which is the biggest reason it is so popular to all Bloggers and Webmasters. But since everybody is running behind them, they have made the approval system very strict. You make little mistakes and get disapproved every time. Here are few reasons why Google will reject your application. 
 
Why AdSense Rejected Your Application? 
 
Here are the most common reasons and AdSense requirements which they gives when they reject your application. 
 
1.  Insufficient content / Unacceptable site content — Your website do not have enough text on them for Google specialists to review. 
 
Google gives a lot of value and attention to the content of the blog before accepting it. If the content is poorly written and have grammatical mistakes, Google will reject the blog right away. 
 
Not only the content needs to be grammatically correct, it must be unique and has to provide value to the users and readers of the blog. So the number one reason is the poorly written content on your blog. 
 
2. Page Type / Design of your blog — What will you do if you land a page with full bright yellow background with white text on it, having huge buttons all over the place? Yes you’ll click away. 
 
Blogs which are poorly designed and are hard for the visitors to understand, get rejected by Google for AdSense. You MUST have a good design which comforts the eye and is beautiful in the look. 
 
3. No Privacy Policy, About us or Contact Us page — There are some pages which you must have before applying to Google AdSense if you want to get accepted. These are About us, Privacy Policy and Contact Us pages. These pages give the impression that you are a professional and that you are working according to the Google polices. 
 
4. Site does not comply with Google policies — No rich, unique and meaningful content, no organic traffic, pages with little to no original content or bad user experience through clear navigation and organization. Your website may be the one that drive traffic through illegal sources, site with excessive keywords or poor coded design are usually rejected. 
 
So you need a complete guidance and list of thing that you need to do before applying for Google AdSense and supposing that you are ready. 
 
12 Things to Do Before Applying for Google AdSense 
 
1. Privacy Policy : 
 
One of the common mistakes that every bloggers and I made many times before getting approved. Even though there are people out there who say that having a privacy policy for a Blog doesn’t makes sense but they are wrong! 
 
The first thing you will need to apply for Google AdSense and get approval is the privacy policy of your blog or website. If you don’t have it you cannot get approval simple is that. Why it is important? Because this privacy policy means you are not a scam and gives the sense of a serious business. Google will check the rest of the conditions only if you have this policy. 
 
A privacy actually describes to your readers about what they will get on your Blog , what they should do and what they should not. So obviously there is nothing bad in having a privacy policy. While it can affect somehow on your AdSense Approval, you must give it a try. You can write it yourself or find Privacy Policy Generators online (You don’t need a lawyer anyway). 
 
2. ABOUT PAGE: 
Like privacy policy you must have a about page so that you can get approved. Like privacy policy this About page also give the sense of a serious business. 
 
An About has major role and importance if you don’t want to apply for AdSense. But when it comes to AdSense, they are about zero chances of getting approved if you are not showing this page.About page simply describes about you and your Blog . This will not only help you establish a relationship with readers but it will also make them trust upon you. 
 
3. CONTACT US PAGE: 
It’s quite obvious that everyone has his/her own opinion. What one of your readers likes may be bothering someone else. Than it is better to give them opportunity to speak up to you and tell how they feel about your Blog, what they want to be edited , what they liked or hated. 
 
Create a contact us page, if possible add your professional email there like info@yourblog.com and your social profile links too. Bcreating this you are telling Google that see we care for our customers, visitors and we are ready to help them. They can contact us any time. 
 
It will also show the Google AdSense Team that is viewing your site that you actually care about your readers and not only the money and AdSense. 
 
I’d recommend you to check my contact page to get some idea. 
 
4. NAME/ EMAIL VERIFICATION: 
 
When you apply don’t forget to put your Name and Email address in some easily visible area like About Me and Contact Us pages. It will confirm to Google AdSense Team that it is the same person who applied for AdSense and not some spam, crappy bots. This will help the Google in the verification process. 
 
5. AGE VERIFICATION: 
 
This is the mistake that most younger blogger are making who are less than 18. They write incorrect age and get into trouble. 
 
Use your correct date of birth and age while applying for Google AdSense account. 
 
Because Google AdSense is not for people who are under 18. Some people realize this problem after being disproved a few times without any legitimate reason. So I advise you to be accurate while typing your age. Be honest. 
 
6. MINIMUM NUMBER OF POSTS: 
 
What should be the minimum number of posts before applying for Google AdSense? There is no confirmed answer. 
 
Not even one. 
 
Because I have seen very established Blogs with 400+ posts and their owner telling me that Google AdSense is rejecting them while somewhere bloggers with 40,50 posts are enjoying making money. 
 
Exactly, what I said that there is no actual answer. However, we can always predict things. According to my experience, you should only apply after you have more than 50 posts. Post length  must be 500+ words too with quality content. 
 
7. DESIGN: 
 
As mentioned earlier, you blog design matters a lot. It should be professional and not like a messy photo gallery. Clean, professional and smart design is appreciated by Google. 
 
Your blog design is the biggest thing after Content. This represents your expertise, experience and professionalism. So be careful because anything can kill your chances of getting approved by AdSense. I recommend Elegant Themes because you get access to 87 WordPress themes in just $69. 
 
8. CONTENT TYPE: 
 
Be careful with what type of content you are publishing. Because it is something that truly matters. 
 
Google AdSense is not for pornographic, pirated content, illegal items, drugs or other blogs /sSites like that. AdSense team won’t be willing to allow you to step in if you own a Non English Blog. Having posts shorter than 200 words in length is also Red Signal. 
 
9. PROVIDING VALUE: 
 
Google loves the blog who are providing value in their content and their visitors and customers are enjoying that value. Be sincere with your visitors don’t ever try to scam them instead provide value. 
 
Don’t complain about not making money and don’t clearly state that you’re blogging for money only and have no other interest in it. Because this will show them that you will not be providing values to your readers any day. Hence another Red Light glows up. 
 
10. TOP LEVEL DOMAIN: 
 
Those days are gone far away when AdSense used to approve “Blogspot” and “WordPress.com” Blogs. As for today, you must have your own unique domain that specifies your Blog. If you don’t have one yet, stop dreaming about getting approved with Sub domains and go buy a Top Level Domain. 
 
When it comes to domain, your domain should be of top level. For this purpose the best domain is .com domain. Choose a short, unique and easy to remember domain related to your blog niche. 
 
Another important thing about domain is it’s age. Because most of Asian Countries, AdSense has placed an age restriction. They don’t accept any sites which are not 6 months old. 
 
So keep it in mind before applying for Google AdSense program. 
 
11. OTHER AD NETWORKS: 
 
If you have any other Ads placed like Chitika, Clicksor or anything, it’s time to drop them off. 
 
Even Google AdSense allows you to use other Ad Networks along with them, it’s better to remove the ads before Applying and don’t put them back until you get a reply from AdSense Team. 
 
So, before submitting your application for Google AdSense make sure to remove all the ads on your blog from any other network. 
 
12. PAID TRAFFIC: 
 
Google hates the sites that are getting paid traffic and mostly penalizes them so there is not a damn chance of getting approved by AdSense for a site that is getting paid traffic. You can bring traffic from Search Engines or any other way you want but if you want to earn via Google AdSense the right way, paid traffic is not a solution. 
 
Also note, that Google do not accept site which gets traffic from illegal sources. So focus on getting traffic from legal sources like social media, SEO and related blogs. 
 
What to do if AdSense is not getting approved? 
 
After all this what if Google AdSense does not approved you? 
 
It’s not the end of the world! 
 
There are many other trusted and high paying ads network you can use and trust me they are not hard as Google AdSense is in terms of getting approval. One door of opportunity is closed so the other one will open. 
 
You can use these ad networks to earn money without AdSense. They are easy to get approved. 
 
Infolinks: 
 
Infolinks is the leader in in-text advertising which offers 70% revenue share even if you’re a newbie blogger. It is different from other advertising networks. It takes less space because it shows in text ads or pop up ads. You can use it with Adsense safely.

Adsense Publisher Applying for Adsense Making Money Online Tips Website Monetization Important Things To Do Before Applying For Adsense

I know you want to make some good money with Google AdSense right? But it’s not easy to get into AdSense program now-a-days. You have to f...

Romantic Date Ideas

1:08:00 AM

Ever wonder of what romantic thing to do or where to go with your special someone on your date night? Have a tight budget and want to make her feel special? Here are some ideas which would make your girl feel like a princess without you blowing off your budget. 
 
Watch the Sunset Together 
 
Yes, this might sound like mainstream but you can put some twists with this idea. First, you can get a blanket and select the best spot where you and your girl can enjoy each other’s company. Also, you can add some other ideas like enjoying a drink while the sunsets or doing a bonfire. The peaceful setup can make you both talk about the things that you like and get that bond to a deeper and a whole new level. 
 
Candlelight dinner for two 
 
What’s more romantic than to have a candlelight dinner? If you can spare some cash then take her to a nice restaurant, however, if you are in a tight budget, you can also opt for a romantic dinner date at home. Cook the foods that she like and set up the table in such a manner that would make her croon and excited for dessert. 
 
Camping 
 
Nothing can be more adventurous than to go in the wild and face the challenges of nature with your love. If your girl is the on the go type of lady then this should be a fun activity for both of you. Enjoy the beauty of nature while being in each other’s arms. Do remember to bring all the essentials with you though. 
 
Boat Ride 
 
If there is a lake near your place and you happen to have access to a boat, then a simple afternoon boat ride with your lady would surely be romantic. Enjoy the serene ripples of the water while rowing your boat, have a simple picnic while in the middle of the lake and you can even go swimming. 
 
Go Star Gazing 
 
Watching the night sky will be very fun if you are with the right person. Set up a spot, have a bonfire and some drinks then you are set. You can even have a barbeque if you are in the mood for it. The most important part is that the moon and the stars are witnesses to the love that you and your girlfriend share for each other. 
 
There are other romantic and simple date ideas that you can do, just remember to be creative and put in consideration what will make both of you happy and enjoy the moment.

Date Date Ideas Lifestyle Romantic Romantic Date Ideas

Ever wonder of what romantic thing to do or where to go with your special someone on your date night? Have a tight budget and want to make h...

Dating Tips That Will Surely Transform Your Love Life

12:51:00 AM

Real talk: Dating is sometimes harder than it should be. After countless dinners and drinks, it can be tempting to throw in the towel and resign to nights of forever watching Netflix alone in your bed. But when dating is done right, it can be amazing, and those great dates often lead to great relationships. So consider this your dating playbook, with all the information you need to survive the first date and make sure there's a second one. 
 
GO BEYOND THE BAR SCENE 
 
Sure, you might meet the love of your life while sipping gin and tonics, but wouldn't it be so much cooler to say you met at a mud run? You never know where you're going to meet the next person you date, so if you're only looking in one spot (like that bar where you're a regular) then you're missing out on tons of possible partners. We know plenty of couples who have met while standing in line at the grocery store, a Target parking lot, even a naked reality show. The takeaway? Love can crop up anywhere, so get out there and keep your eyes open. 
 
LET YOUR FRIENDS SET YOU UP 
 
No one loves you quite like your friends do, so let them set you up with someone that they can vouch for. "It's better for single people to meet through friends because there's a familiarity and comfort that goes with that," says behavioral scientist Christie Hartman, Ph.D. "A friend setting you up means the guy is 'vetted' to some extent." So let them play matchmaker—but first, lay down some rules. Make it clear ahead of time that the way the date goes is totally not a reflection on your friend, or you, or the guy. Hey, sometimes chemistry is there, and sometimes it isn't. So unless your friend is Patti Stanger, remind her that it's no one’s fault if this goes horribly wrong. (But if it goes totally right, you should probably buy her a drink). 
 
CONSIDER DATING YOUR FRIENDS 
 
The term "friend zone" should totally be banished—in part, because your friends can sometimes make the best dates. Think about it: Someone you're already friends with is likely to have similar values, to know your background and your family, and to make you feel ultra comfortable with them. Plus, friendship is the foundation for any relationship, so having that bond established can be key, says relationship expert Jane Greer, Ph.D., author of What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship. 
 
CHOOSE THE RIGHT DATING SITE 
 
The Internet is a beautiful thing: It brought us Twitter, cat videos, Orange Is the New Black, and now, it can bring you love. But when you're ready to make the plunge into online dating, how do you decide which site to sign up for? We found a handy cheat sheet from digital matchmaker Julie Spira, who gave us the lowdown on 12 popular dating sites. Think about what it is you want out of an online dating experience—A hookup? A boyfriend? A marriage?—then choose the site that matches your interests, so you're not just wasting your time online (that's what the cat videos are for). 
 
FOCUS ON FIRST IMPRESSIONS 
 
First dates can be overwhelming, so streamline your focus into making the first few moments count. It takes only 12 minutes for you to decide if you're interested in the other person (and for them to decide if they dig you) so bring your A-game the second you arrive. To make a stellar first impression, make eye contact, smile, and focus on what he's saying, according to Susan RoAne, author of How to Work a Room: The Ultimate Guide to Making Lasting Connections—In Person and Online. And don’t forget to check in with yourself, too! You might be so focused on making a flawless first impression that you forget to ask yourself if you’re even into the other person. 
 
DON'T PLAY IT COOL ON A DATE 
 
We've all been told that guys love the chase, but according to research, that's not exactly true. One study showed that men are more attracted to responsive women, and women who were kind and warm right off the bat. That doesn't mean being over-the-top eager—you don't have to laugh at his jokes if they're not funny—but it's definitely OK to respond to that text in a timely manner, or tell him how much fun you're having. Being kind is definitely a turn on, so forget what you’ve been told about playing it ice-cold. 
 
AVOID OVERSHARING 
 
Word-vomit happens, but one way to tank a first date is to admit how long you spent Google stalking him or accidentally blurt out, "Woah, you look exactly like my ex!" The censorship walls can come down after a little bit, but try to steer clear of these awkward comments on a first date, or we're guessing there won't be a second one. 
 
PAY ATTENTION TO HOW YOU TALK TO EACH OTHER 
 
It's more than just what you're saying—it's how you say it. One study showed that when men talk to a woman they find attractive, they tend to vary their vocal pitch from high to low tones (in a sing-songy way). If you're looking to analyze the long-term potential, pay attention to the types of words you both use. Another study suggested that people who use the same function words (maybe you both say "quite" and "tons" a lot) are more likely to couple up and stay together. 
 
FOLLOW THEIR GAZE 
 
Is it love at first sight? It depends on where their eyeballs land. Research suggests that when someone feels a romantic connection, his or her gaze tends to linger on the other person's face. When they just feel sexual desire, their eyes tend to wander around the person's body. During the next date you're on, follow their gaze. If he's staring into your eyes all night, there’s a good chance he's really into you. 
 
DON'T LET YOUR FRIENDS RUIN YOUR VIBE 
 
Getting your friends' (and family's) opinion on your new beau is essential, but if you ask too soon, it could color your own feelings. One study showed that when opinions were framed differently—saying that "seven out of ten" people liked your date, versus "three out of ten" people didn't like him—it can seriously affect our own evaluation. So you might want to avoid asking for an outside opinion until you've gotten the chance to make one yourself. 
 
IF YOU'RE NOT INTO HIM, MOVE ON 
 
Dating someone who you're just not into is a total waste of time. Be realistic with yourself: Are you embarrassed to call him your "boyfriend"? Has he met your friends? Would you rather be watching Netflix than talking to him? Are you only with him for fear of being single? These are all good signs that you're just not that into him, and you should peace out of this relationship. Trust us, being single is way better than being in a crappy relationship. 
 
IF AT FIRST YOU DON’T SUCCEED? TRY, TRY AGAIN 
 
We heard about a woman who committed to going on 100 dates this summer as a way of learning more about herself, and what she wants in a partner. While we don't think you necessarily need to do a dating marathon, it's often important to just get out there—especially if you feel like you’re in a rut. So when your date goes awry, or that relationship turns out to be a dud, don't give up. Your next amazing date might be right around the corner.

Dating Tips Dating Tips That Will Surely Transform Your Love Life

Real talk: Dating is sometimes harder than it should be. After countless dinners and drinks, it can be tempting to throw in the towel and r...